Today in mocktail mania:

An everything (but alcohol or clams) fizzy dilly spicy vegan Caesar

If you’re the type of person who likes a long recipe preamble, feel free to imagine one here. For everyone else, let’s get after it:

• Start with tomato or vegetable juice. I used some PC 8 vegetable cocktail. This is already a delectable beverage. Choose your own additions/adventures from here.

• Add your desired amount of garlic dill pickle brine (2oz-ish is what I recommend)

• Add your desired amount of hot banana pepper brine (start low & keep adding more ‘til it zings)

• Add tonic or carbonated water. I do half and half water and juice, but adjust to your desired concentration/thickness/thinness.

This is where I used to stop, often with a pickle in the glass and some celery garnish. Today, I went to another level for a total of 13(!) fruits and 9 vegetables:

• Add tropical fruit juice, shown below beside the final product. I blooped some in; I did not measure.

• Add tart cherry juice concentrate. The bottle’s side has serving measurements.

• Add a glug of Soda Press Co. grapefruit syrup. (This is the only addition that contains added sugars).

And here we have it (garnishless due to the bot’s narrow neck):

Pretty delicious if I do say so myself.